Imaginary
by Byakugan Girl
Summary: AU Oneshot Songfic. Winry's reaction to Ed and Al's death at the hands of the Homunculi.


**AN:** While my Naruto Muse is recovering from getting hit by a large bus, I started writing this fic for a change of pace. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the lyrics to Imaginary, by Evanescence and I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, though I would be a happy woman if I did.

**Warning:** Semi Spoilers. AU- Ed and Al have been killed by the Homunculi at the end of the series. Also: Character Death/Suicide

* * *

_I linger in the doorway  
of alarm clock screaming_

Winry's alarm clock rattled on her bedside table, loud enough to wake the dead. The blonde girl lashed out sleepily, knocking it to the floor with a tired hand where it lay still and silent. The sun had crept into her bedroom, trying to pry her from her bed. The girl buried her face deeper into her pillows, desperate to stay in the darkness of the small space between her nose and the pillow. It was so much happier here…

_monsters calling my name  
let me stay_

"Winry?" Pinnako calls from the doorway, looking in on the girl. "Winry? It's nearly nine o'clock, you should get up."

"In a minute, okay?" she says, voice hoarse from sleep… or tears. The girl has been acting like this since the homunculus Envy murdered Ed, while Gluttony had eaten Al. When Rose had somehow found her way back to Risembool, bleeding badly, clothes and hair disheveled, the girl had told them the story. Winry, to the outsider, seemed to have taken the news well. But, Pinnako saw the girl skipping meals, sleeping later, locking herself up in her room without speaking to anyone for hours… She was worried for the usually cheerful girl.

_where the wind will whisper to me  
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

Winry buried her face deeper still into the pillows, desperate to keep out the sunlight. She had closed her blinds last night, hadn't she?

Morning used to be her favorite time of day. It meant a hug from her father and a kiss from her mother. It meant Ed and Al would be coming over to play with her and Den. She loved the mornings.

After her parents were killed, she still did.

_in my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby_

And now she spent her mornings remembering those times, as they had been so long ago. She remembered Ed and Al's faces and she remembered how she had loved them both so much… She still did. They would play and play and play until Mrs. Elric would take the boys home, but they'd always be back the next day.

Even when their mom died, at least she knew they were safe.

_I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me_

But they were gone now. Forever. Science, Alchemy, God… Nothing would ever bring them back. She could study and practice and spend her entire life trying to find a way to, but she never could because they were dead, dead, dead. Gone.

But she still had her memories. Why spend time with false hope when you could live in your own mind? Your mind died with you, and it would never betray you before then. She didn't need to imagine what it must have been like for Ed in the seconds before his brain shut down, how Al felt as Gluttony slowly chewed away at his body, his soul released and finally let go to that god-forsaken other side…

Why remember that when there were summer days where the sun had shone and Mom and Dad would be waiting at home for you when you were hungry or tired… And Ed and Al would always be coming back the next day with smiles on their faces and an alchemy book in hand.

_don't say I'm out of touch  
with this rampant chaos - your reality_

She knew very well what the others thought of her. She could feel Pinnako's eyes watching her, making sure she wouldn't break. But they would never understand. Rose had vanished a few days after she had arrived, taking her baby with her. Izumi and her husband had come by to give their condolences, and to ask about Wrath. He hadn't been seen for weeks.

And Winry tried to hold herself together, smiling as happily as she could and trying to be just happy about everything anyone said. But she could always feel her granny's eyes on her, constantly waiting for that one moment where she would shatter, her smile gone.

Pinnako had tried to get her to talk about her emotions, saying she understood and it would be better to let them out. She really did understand what she was going through, Winry…

But that wouldn't happen. She stayed quiet.

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
the nightmare I built my own world to escape_

Envy was still out there. Maybe Gluttony too. Winry didn't want revenge, that was too arbitrary. She couldn't even know where to find them, or how to kill them. She's just a mechanic. There were people who could help her, the Elrics had been well liked. But she just couldn't think about that. She kept herself still in her memories. It was so much happier here…

_in my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby_

Winry watched the memories as if in her own private movie theatre. She watched as they played together as small children, with their parents watching the three children. Den was still a small puppy, barking at everything and getting his nose into anything new or interesting. They laughed at the dog and talked about stupid things and played tag and chase and ball and then when it was over they all went home, where dinner was waiting warm on the table.

_I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me  
_

Pinnako walks back down the stairs, thinking about the girl and her horrible depression. She didn't know what she should do with her, as sometimes she seemed so perfectly fine and then others she seemed like she was about to give up on everything. She shook her head and was about to head into the kitchen when a loud thump made her look up. It had come from Winry's bedroom.

"Winry?" she called up the stairs. No response. Den started barking. "Winry!"

_swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights_

They had rushed Winry to the hospital, where they had tried everything they could to save the girl. Pinnako had found her lying motionless on the floor, sprawled in a pool of her own blood. The doctors fought hard, trying to find what was wrong with the girl. As the day and night wore on, she continued to slip farther and farther away from the doctor's grasp until they know she's…

_oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
the goddess of imaginary light  
_

Winry woke up to find herself in front of a huge brass gate. She looked up at it, confused. She slowly reached out a hand to touch it, but the door pulled itself open with a huge creak. Darkness beckoned from the other side of the door and she stared, confused and wondering what this could possibly mean. As she stepped closer, something inside seemed to try and reach out to her. She needed to know what this thing was-

"Winry."

She turned. Her eyes widened. Two very familiar faces stared at her. Her pale face suddenly turned into a huge smile, just like the ones she used to wear when they were so much younger…

"Edward! Alphonse!"

The specters were quiet. Alphonse looks just as he did when he was ten, his silver eyes wide and a small smile lit his face. Edward looked just as he did the last time Winry had seen him. The ghosts of tears ran silently down Edward's face.

"You're finally here."

Smiling and laughing, Winry grabs her two best friends by the arms and together they walk away into another place where the sky is bright and there are parents who are waiting for them all to come home. And memories are now and there is no past or future or time or death…

And Winry is happy.

_in my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me _

oh, paper flowers  
oh, paper flowers


End file.
